The Absence of You

Sometimes
it hurts so much.
I never knew
missing someone
could create a real
physical pain.
The ache in
my chest
just won't go
away.
I've tried and tried,
begged my heart,
tried to make it
(and probably
myself)
believe
that it's not
that bad.
That I can live
for a little while
without you.

But it knows
a lie
when it hearts one.
It knows how
it hurts.
It knows that
every day
I smiled a little
less.
I hurt a little
worse.
I cry a little
harder.
I die a little
more.

Breaking down
in this
absence of you.

Memorial Day

Lawn chairs sprawl
across the yard.
I sit cross-legged,
listening to my
iPod, enjoying the
company of my
dysfunctional, yet strangely
lovable family members,
not noticing my
Bermudas slipping up
above my knee.
"Gave yourself a
little homemade tattoo,
huh, Nanna?" my
aunt Jenny laughs,
pointing to the
jagged red lines.
"Oh. Yeah. Tattooo."
I mutter, pulling
the leg of
my pants down
to hid the
cuts. Already distracted,
my aunt turns
away, leaving me
to my thoughts.
Her ignorance must
be such bliss.

Kiss the flame.

Heheh, it's so disjointed and weird xD
It's not really a coherent thought, it's just kinda... there xD

Mommy always told me
not to play with fire
"Don't do it,"
she'd say
"It'll only hurt you."

But what do
grown-ups know?

"Mommy knows best"
always seemed
like a joke.

At least to me.

And the lure
of the flame,
so bright,
so wild,
so free.

But it always burns out
so fast.

So go ahead,
lean in,
seize the day
kiss the flame.

It won't bite back
if you don't let it.

It's not playing
if you've tamed it.

Forever and Always ^_^

Running outside
as the rain pounds down
the world slowly churns
all around me
and just as it all
begins to fall away
two arms lock
around my waist.

I should turn around
to face him
but it's just so comfortable here.
So safe and warm and
protected.

Eventually I turn
greeted by a rare
smile
playing on his lips.

"I love you,
baby,"
he leans down
to kiss my forehead.

"Forever and Always."

Society has a few unwritten laws-
if it's not beautiful,
if it's not perfect,
it's no acceptable.

So you put on
your pretty plastic smile,
and you walk through
your pretty plastic world,
pretending nothing's wrong
and everything's just fine.

If you don't look at it,
maybe it will go
away.

Raindrops.

The rain poured down, bouncing off the sidewalk. Each droplet shimmered in the air for a split second as it rebounded, a beautiful jewel hung in midair, then came crashine back down and melted away into a puddle. In a way it was like the human existance. Millions of people were hurtling toward the ground, glorified and beautiful for a brief time, and then they melt back away into the rest. A little while later the sun would dry them, and they'd be sent on their way through the precipitation process once more.
Human life was lived in much the same way. We spend every day- every second- dying; hurtling toward out death. The ground, if you will. For a time in everyone's life they feel invincible, like they're on top of the world, and then all too soon they hit the floor and it's all over. They melt away, forgotten by those around them, and fade back into the background with everyone else, in order to make room for the new crowd. Then once the sun dries them... who knows? They could be anywhere, and we'll never know. Until we hit the ground.
Until we melt away with the rain drops.

Here I stand.

The world works against me,
those who would seek to destroy me
try their best.
They tear at me
at my very being.
Trying to pull me down.
But I will never break.
I will never be submissive.

Here I stand,

ready to challenge the world.

Is it really so crazy?

Is it really so crazy
To think two kids could fall in love?

Is it really so crazy
To think two kids are smart enough
To not screw up?

Is it really so crazy
To think two kids can find each other
And stay together the rest of their lives?

Everyone seems to think so.

But I don't.

So together we stand, holding each other
As the rest of the world crashes down on us.

Not out of a need for defiance;
But because we know they're wrong.

We'll wait out this storm
And if we can't, well then
We'll survive until we can drive away,
Start a new life.

We'll show them they're wrong,
Someday.

Is that really so crazy?

Savanna might be writing this

Savanna might be writing this.
But probably not.

Savanna might be trying to pour her heart out.
But probably not.

Savanna might have fifty thousand thoughts
Whirling around her head.
But probably not.

Savanna might be surprised her head hasn't exploded
From all the pressure.
But probably not.

Savanna might be hurting.
But probably not.

(she is.)

SHIT

People, places,
These words
I'm writing
the
Hell they
play
with
my already
so fucked up
mind.

Feeling like
my whole
Goddamn
life is all falling
apart and no one
in the world
gives a flying
fuck.

Feeling so helpless,
like there's nothing
I can do. Feeling
so out
of control.
Feeling
like there's no one
to go to anymore.

Breaking down to
tears because it's
all
just
too
fucking
much.

Hating
myself
more
every
day.
Every
thing.
It's
all
shit.